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WHAT FATHERS SHOULD DO
(Luke 15:11-32)

When we examine God's relationship with Jesus, we see the
essence of what it means to be a good father.

God acknowledged Jesus and expressed his love. The Scripture
says, "A voice from heaven said, "This is my Son, whom I love .
. ." (Matt. 3:17a).

Jesus felt this love. He said, "As the Father has loved me, so
have I loved you . . ." (John 15:9).

God also showed Jesus that he was proud of him. The Scripture
says, "A bright cloud enveloped them, and a voice from the cloud
said, 'This is my Son . . . with him I am well pleased' . . ."
(Matt. 17:5).

Jesus knew God approved of him. He said, "Do not work for food
that spoils, but for food that endures to eternal life, which
the Son of Man will give you. On him God the Father has placed
his seal of approval" (John 6:27).

God gave Jesus responsibility and authority. John said, "The
Father has . . . given him authority to judge because he is the
Son of Man" (John 5:26-27).

Jesus accepted that responsibility. He said, "All things have
been committed to me by my Father . . ." (Matt. 11:27.

So, what should fathers do? Well, Jesus once told a story about
a model father. We can learn a lot from him on this Father's
Day. In the famous parable of the Prodigal Son, we see a father
with open hands, open arms and an open heart.

I. FIRST, THIS FATHER HAD OPEN HANDS.

This dad was wise enough to know that the way to keep his
children was to open his hands and let them go. The Scripture
says, "There was a man who had two sons. The younger one said
to his father, `Father, give me my share of the estate.' So he
divided his property between them. Not long after that, the
younger son got together all he had, set off for a distant
country and there squandered his wealth in wild living" (Luke
15:11-13).

Many fathers never give their children the independence to stand
on their own. This father could have refused his son's request.
He could have held back the inheritance. He could have played
the comparison game with the older brother. But here was a dad
who was prepared to trust the proverb that says, "Train up a
child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not
depart from it" (Prov.22:6).

Notice that the father did not try to locate his son and drag
him home. The boy was apparently old enough to make his own
decision and the father allowed him the privilege of determining
his course. But, on the other hand, the father did not come to
his rescue during the financial stress that followed. He didn't
send money. There were no well-meaning church groups that
helped support his folly.

The Scriptures say, "No one gave him anything . . . he finally
came to his senses" (Luke 15:16-17).

Perhaps we keep our children from "coming to their senses" by
preventing them from feeling the consequences of their own
mistakes. When a teen-ager gets a speeding citation, he should
pay for it. When he wrecks his car, he should have it fixed.
When he gets suspended from school, he should accept his
punishment without parental protests to the school. We learn
from adversity. The parent who is too anxious to bail his child
out of difficulty may be doing him a disservice.

Some parents hold such a tight control that they lose their
children. This dad was wise enough to let him go. He had open
hands.

II. NEXT, THIS FATHER HAD OPEN ARMS.

When the boy came home, the father ran to meet him with open
arms. The young man has taken and squandered his inheritance,
bringing shame to his father and family. Destitute, he has
accepted the lowest possible job for a Jew-feeding swine, in
order to stay alive. He has really hit bottom. But what is his
father's attitude? He hasn't written the boy off. That father
isn't standing with his arms folded, glaring down the road and
muttering, "You just wait until I get my hands on that kid?
He's going to pay for what he's done?" No! You can tell the
father's attitude by his response when he saw his son returning.

The Scripture says, "But while he was still a long way off, his
father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to
his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. The son said
to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I
am no longer worthy to be called your son.' But the father said
to his servants, `Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him.
Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the
fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate.
For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost
and is found.' So they began to celebrate" (Luke 15:20-24).
Notice that the father welcomed his son home without belittling
him or demanding reparations. He didn't say, "I told you you'd
make a mess of things, big shot!" Or "You've embarrassed your
mom and me to death. Everyone is talking about what a terrible
son we've raised!"

Instead, he revealed the depth of his love by saying "He was
lost and is found!" His love had been big enough to release him
with open hands, and now it was big enough to receive him back
with open arms. Notice that this boy didn't come home with a
rebellious spirit. He wasn't just sorry he got caught.
Instead, he was truly repentant, and the father responded with
open arms.

III. FINALLY, THIS FATHER HAD OPEN HEART.

But, the most important characteristic of this father was his
open heart. He was there for both of his sons no matter what
their problems. He was tolerant and compassionate. When the
celebration was on, we find him outside assuring the wounded
older brother of his love and support. The Scripture says,
"Meanwhile, the older son was in the field. When he came near
the house, he heard music and dancing. So he called one of the
servants and asked him what was going on. `Your brother has
come,' he replied, `and your father has killed the fattened calf
because he has him back safe and sound.' The older brother
became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and
pleaded with him. But he answered his father, `Look! All these
years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders.
Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate
with my friends. But when this son of yours who has squandered
your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened
calf for him!' `My son,' the father said, `you are always with
me, and everything I have is yours. But we had to celebrate and
be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive
again; he was lost and is found.' " (Luke 15:25-32).

We need more fathers with open hands, wise enough to know that
the way to lose your kid is to hold too tight and the way to
keep them is to let them go when the time comes. We need more
fathers with open arms, always ready to make a way for new
beginnings. Finally, we need more fathers with open hearts who
are understanding and encouraging.

Fathers must love and affirm and trust their children. They
must build a close relationship. In describing his family life,
one man said, "I remember when my children were 5 and 7. They
were at the ages when their daddy means everything to them. I
wished that I could have spent more time with my kids but I was
too busy working. After all, I wanted to give them all the
things I never had when I was growing up.

I loved the idea of coming home and having them sit on my lap
and tell me about their day. Unfortunately, most evenings I
came home so late that I was only able to kiss them good night
after they had gone to sleep.

It is amazing how fast kids grow. Before I knew it, they were 9
and 11. I missed seeing them in school plays. Everyone said
they were terrific, but these activities always seemed to go on
when I was traveling for business or tied up in a special
conference. The kids never complained, but I could see the
sadness in their eyes.
I kept promising that I would have more time "next year." But
"Next Year" never came. The higher up the corporate ladder I
climbed, the less time there seemed to be.

Suddenly they were no longer 9 and 11. They were 14 and 16.
Teenagers. I didn't see my daughter the night she went out on
her first date or my son's championship basketball game. Mom
made excuses and I managed to telephone and talk to them before
they left the house. I could hear the disappointment in their
voices, but I explained as best I could.

Don't ask where the years have gone. Those little kids are 19
and 21 now and in college. I can't believe it. My job is less
demanding and I finally have time for them. But since they have
their own interests, they have no time for me. To be perfectly
honest, I'm a little hurt.

It seems like yesterday that they were 5 and 7. I'd give
anything to live those years over. You can bet your life I'd do
it differently. But they are gone now, and so is my chance to
be a real dad."

Fathers, put your wife and kids first in your life. Love them,
enjoy them. Nothing you'll ever do is more important. As Lee
Iacocca points out, no one says on their deathbed, "I wish I had
spent more time with my business."

The real message on this Father's Day is that our Heavenly
Father deals with us in the same way. He has open hands toward
us. We are not puppets, but people with a free will to disobey.
Then, he has open arms. If we do turn to him, He meets us with
total forgiveness. Finally, He shows an open heart by His
constant presence.

Now, think about it. When that boy was still with the pigs,
what stood in the way of his returning to his father? Nothing
on the father's part! In fact, it's easy to picture that man
each day gazing down the road with a longing expression,
thinking, "Maybe today my boy will come home." The only thing
that kept that boy from his father was his own decision to stay
with the pigs.

That's God's message to us. "Why are you living with the pigs?
Your father loves you. He's not holding any grudges against
you. He wants you to come home!

******
(Word Count 1853)

These messages are from an unpublished manuscript © copyrighted
by Miles and Maralene Wesner, Idabel, OK. Please use them in
any way you think appropriate. The only thing we ask is that
you give credit for original material in published works.

Sermons with the "I" prefix are from our "What's the Good Word"
Series;
II from our "Pitfalls on the Path of Life"
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My ministry has been blessed immeasurably by reading other
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Miles E Wesner