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EMAIL SERMON SERVICE Vol. 4, No. III-5 from Diversity Press

How to L-U-V
(Mother’s Day)

Once, years ago, there were two warring tribes in the Andes.
The mountain people invaded the low landers one day, and as part
of their plundering they kidnaped a baby and took the infant
with them back up into the mountains.

The lowlanders didn't know how to climb the mountain. They
didn't know any of the trails that the mountain people used, and
they didn't know where to find the mountain people or how to
track them in the steep terrain.

Even so, they sent out their best party of fighting men to climb
the mountain and bring the baby home.

The men tried first one method of climbing and then another.
They tried one trail and then another. After several days of
effort, however, they had climbed only a couple of hundred feet.

Feeling hopeless and helpless, the men decided that the cause
was lost, and they prepared to return to their village below.

As they were packing their gear for the descent, they saw the
baby's mother walking toward them. They realized that she was
coming down the mountain that they hadn't been able to climb.
Then they saw that she had the baby strapped to her back. How
could that be?

The leaders of the rescue party greeted her and said, "We
couldn't climb this mountain. How did you do this when we, the
strongest and most able men in the village, couldn't do it?"

She smiled and said, "But, it wasn't your baby."

Yes, mothers love their children. There are few loves as strong
as a mother’s love. In fact, the Scripture uses this bond to
describe God’s love for us. When the people complained that the
Lord had forgotten them; the answer was: “Can a mother forget
her little child and not have love for her own son? Yet, even
if that should be, I will not forget you” (Isa. 49:15,lb).

Later he said, “As a mother comforts her child, so will I
comfort you . . ..” (Isa. 66:13).

Paul uses the mother/child relationship to describe his own care
for his followers: “We were gentle among you, like a mother
caring for her little children” (I Thess. 2:7).

So, love is the theme, but since children often spell it L-U-V;
let’s analyze it that way:

I. THE L IS FOR LISTEN.

Jesus believed the things children say are important. “When the
chief priests and the teachers of the law saw the wonderful
things he did and the children shouting in the temple area,
‘Hosanna to the Son of David,’ they were indignant. ‘Do you
hear what these children are saying?’ they asked him. ‘Yes,’
replied Jesus, ‘have you never read, “From the lips of children
and infants you have ordained praise” '?” (Matt. 21:15-16).

He was quoting the Psalmist who had said, “From the mouth of
infants and babes Thou has established strength . . .” (Psa.
8:2).

A wise man observed, “If we don’t listen to our children about
the little things now, they won’t listen to us about the big
things later.”

Recently, researchers interviewed hundreds of young people
concerning the greatest blessings they had received from their
parents. Number one was: “My parents took time to really
listen to me when I talked to them by looking directly into my
eyes.”

Other positive comments included: “They would let me explain my
side of the story.”

“My dad would ask me all the time, ‘What would it take for this
to be a great year for you?’ and then try to see that it was.”

We would have "family meetings" every two weeks where everyone
would share their goals and problems.

When I was down about my boyfriend breaking up with me, my
parents took extra time just to listen to me.

Now that I'm an adult, I really appreciate how my father taught
me to communicate with him. That has helped me know how to talk
to my husband now that I'm married.

My mother would let me explain my point of view—even when she
disagreed with me. She always made me feel that my opinion was
important.”

Listening is an essential part of good parenting. Many of us
never communicate. We just take turns talking. Then, years
later, we pay psychologists $120 an hour for a listening ear.

Families should have daily discussions about feelings and
problems and hopes and dreams. It’s helpful to ask open-ended
questions. Parents should hear and not advise or lecture or
criticize or warn or correct. It helps to rephrase the child’s
comments and say it back. For example: If Johnny says, “We
never have any fun around here”; don’t argue and say, ”Why we
went to a movie last week!” Don’t advise and say, “Why don’t you
go play with Bill.” Instead, reflect his feelings by saying,
“You sound a little upset about things”.

Children use physical violence when they don’t know how to
express their deep feelings in words. So listening is an
important part of parenting.

II. THE U IS FOR UNDERSTANDING.

We can hear without understanding. “Jesus called the crowd to
him and said, "Listen and understand” (Matt. 15:10b).

In the Scriptures, understanding is connected to wisdom and
insight. “God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a
breadth of understanding . . . .” (I Kings 4:29);

“Make your ear attentive to wisdom, Incline your heart to
understanding” (Prov. 2:2).

When your child describes a situation, you should be more
concerned with his underlying feelings or attitudes than with
the literal words he uses. For example, if he says, “You gave
Johnny the biggest piece of pie,” it does little good to remind
him that Johnny is older, or that Johnny’s piece was not much
bigger. The true issue involved is more likely, “Mother, do you
love me as much as you love Johnny?” The understanding mother
might respond to the questioner in two ways. First with words
by asking, “Were you wondering about my love for you?” Then
with action by giving a reassuring hug.

In order to really communicate you must first listen to the
words he says, and second, determine exactly what was behind his
words; and third, continue the conversation in a way to show
that you understand.”

Understanding includes empathy and harmony. It reduces
conflict. Paul said, “Make every effort to keep the unity of
the Spirit . . . .” (Eph. 4:3a).

Researchers found that feeling understood and respected are
considered blessings by most teenagers. They said, “My mother
would tell us ‘make believe’ bedtime stories that illustrated
positive character traits she felt we had.”

“My mom had a great sense of humor; but she never made us kids
the brunt of her jokes.”

“My parents wouldn't change things in my bedroom without asking
me if it were OK.”

One boy said, “My parents were patient when I went through my
long hair stage in high school.”

“My father worked with me for hours on my soapbox derby racer.”

“When I first started wearing make-up, my mother never made fun
of how much time I spent in front of the mirror.”

“My parents quit using a ‘nickname’ that really hurt me.”

“They would always go to my piano recitals and act interested.”

“My father would ask to talk to each of us kids personally when
he called in from a trip.”

All of us need to feel that somebody knows us, so understanding
is an important part of parenting.

III. THE V IS FOR VALUE.

Jesus knew this and told his disciples, “Are not two sparrows
sold for a farthing? and one of them shall not fall on the
ground without your Father. Fear ye not therefore, ye are of
more value than many sparrows” (Matt. 10:29,31, kjv).

A psychologist said, “By the time a child is six years old, his
lifelong self-concept is congealed. This is based on how he
perceives the attitudes directed toward him by the significant
persons in his life, primarily his mother. The correlation
between his first six years of life and his personality and
achievements as an adult is indeed great. Some psychologists
state that personality traits are fixed by the age of two.”

The researchers found that feeling valued was a crucial element
for the young people they questioned. Here are some of their
comments: “We got a lot of hugs.”
“They would take each of us out individually for a special
breakfast.”

“My mother always carried pictures of us in her purse.”

“My parents made sure that each one of us kids appeared in the
family photos.”

“They had a ‘king or queen for a day meal’ for us that would
focus individual attention on each child.”

“As a family we often read and discussed the book, The Velveteen
Rabbit, which talks about how valuable we are.”

“My folks wrote up a special ‘story of my birth’ that they read
to me every year.”

“They attended all of my open houses at school.”

“When my father was facing being transferred at work, he
purposely took another job so that I could finish my senior year
in high school.”
“When I wrecked my parents' car; my father's first reaction was
to hug me and let me cry instead of yelling at me.”

“At least once a year around my birthday, my dad would take me
out of school for a special lunch where he would let me know I
was special to him.”

“When I had my appendix out, my parents were right there with me
before and after the operation.”

“Sometimes when I would get home from school, my mother would
have a plate of cookies on the counter with a special note
saying she loved me.”

“They could have just shipped my stuff, but my parents drove a
U-Haul trailer over 1,800 miles when I went off to college.”

“My dad gave up smoking because he knew how much it bothered Mom
and us kids.”

“My father let me go with him on some of his business trips.”

“My parents didn't compare my abilities with those of my older
brother or the other kids at school, but helped me see my own
unique value.”

“My father acted more excited about getting to spend time with
us kids than he did about working at the office.”

“Some people's parents criticize them behind their backs, but I
was always hearing something positive from my parents' friends
that my parents had said about me.”

“We used a special red plate at dinner to designate birthdays or
outstanding achievements.”

Now, these things sound small and trivial, but they added up and
left a lasting impression on each person.

Yes, mother’s love their children. Most parents love their
children, but they don’t always show it on a regular basis.

Let’s listen, understand and value the boys and girls in our
family. Nothing we do is more important.

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord; The fruit of the womb
is a reward” (Psa. 127:3, NAS).

*****
(Word Count 1835).

These messages are from an unpublished manuscript © copyrighted
by Miles and Maralene Wesner, Idabel, OK. Please use them in
any way you think appropriate. The only thing we ask is that
you give credit for original material in published works.

Sermons with the “I” prefix are from our “What’s the Good Word”
Series;
II from our “Pitfalls on the Path of Life”
III are sermons for special days and occasions.

Material in our sermons usually present the Gospel from a
psychological point of view.

My ministry has been blessed immeasurably by reading other
people’s sermons. When I started preaching 56 years ago, I
waited for “inspiration” (usually Saturday night, about
midnight) before I began my sermon preparation. Then, I
discovered it wasn’t inspiration at all—it was sheer PANIC. I
would have welcomed this service.

Comments are always welcome. (Please indicate if you do not want
your comments to appear in New Perspectives).

Miles E Wesner