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0ABUNDANT LIFE SERIES
101. ACCEPTANCE
Matthew 9:9-13 and John 6:37
January 17, 2010
One of our most basic human needs is the need for acceptance. On August 4, 2009, George Sodini walked into a gym, turned off the lights and fired his gun over 30 times. He killed several women in an aerobics class and then turned the gun on himself. The note he left behind said, “3000 women have rejected me.”
Now, not everyone who feels rejected becomes a mass murderer, but the pain of rejection is the most prevalent pain on the face of the earth and one of the hardest to bear. The handicapped and the minority races and the elderly in nursing homes may feel it most acutely, but all of us feel it at times.
I. THE NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF REJECTION:
The negative effects of rejection are numerous. In order to develop successfully a child must feel he “belongs” in his family. He must feel wanted. Individuals are often reluctant to ask for dates or apply for jobs or even come to church because they are afraid of rejection. Rejection says, “You are not okay! You are not adequate! You are inferior!” And that hurts.
Furthermore, these negative effects are far reaching. People who feel rejected degrade themselves, and then project that degradation onto others. Such individuals have negative outlooks and critical spirits. Once a woman from a large city said, “I lived in such a crowded area that I could look across the alley into another apartment. I had never met the lady who lived there, but I could see her when she sat by her window. After several months, I began to notice that her windows were very dirty. Everything was a blur through her smudged glass. I thought, “Why doesn’t that lazy woman wash her windows? They look awful.” Finally, one bright morning, I decided to do my own house cleaning. This included washing my windows.
When I finished, I sat down to rest with a cup of coffee, and to my surprise, the woman across the alley was clearly visible. Her windows were perfectly clean. Then it dawned on me that I had been criticizing her dirty windows when all the time I was observing them through my own dirty window!”
How often do we criticize others through our own “dirty windows” of ignorance and inferiority? Such destructive sins are often the result of our feelings of rejection. Jesus said, “Why do you notice the little piece of dust in your friend’s eye, but you don’t notice the big piece of wood in your own eye? You hypocrite! First, take the wood out of your own eye. Then you will see clearly to take the dust out of your friend’s eye” (Matt. 7:3,5).
Rejection also leads to shame and humiliation and these are very dangerous emotions. They make us defensive and hostile. Unfortunately, traditional religion has often tended to increase the problem by diminishing life, instead of enriching it. Some Christian groups seem to emphasize doctrines that condemn people. The story goes that a man with some personal issues was ex-communicated and forbidden to enter a church. He took his woes to God. “Lord,” he said, they won’t let me in because I’m a sinner.”
“What are you complaining about,” God supposedly answered, “They won’t let me in either!”
Often, sinners hobble into our churches for Sunday morning Worship Services on crutches of addictions and sinful habits, but their mere presence represents a feeble attempt to establish contact with God. We must not discourage that hope. A minister said, “A few years ago I heard a song on the radio that I liked. The lyrics were talking about a place where ‘everybody knows your name, and they’re always glad you came.’ Then someone told me that it was the theme song for a T.V. show about a saloon called “Cheers.” I still wish they’d been singing it about the church.” Well, it should be the motto of every congregation because any church that will not accept sinful men and women repudiates the Gospel of Grace. God knows that faith is weak; knowledge is limited; and people are imperfect. If Christians remain self-righteously aloof from those who fail and those who fall, they are not following Jesus’ example. He said, “Healthy people don’t need a doctor, only the sick need a doctor . . . I did not come to invite good people, I came to invite sinners” (Matt. 9:12-13b, edb).
Rejection is unproductive. It never converts anyone! Jesus came to give us abundant life and no one can enjoy an abundant life without acceptance.
II. THE POSITIVE EFFECTS OF ACCEPTANCE:
Acceptance is a very important theme of the Gospel, because there are many positive effects of acceptance. In fact, acceptance is essential for an abundant life. Jesus never rejects anyone. He said, “(He) who comes to me, I will most certainly not cast out. I will never, no never reject one of them who comes to me” (John 6:37b, amp). .
Then the Lord practiced what he promised by accepting all who came to him. Once when children were being turned away, Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me. Don’t stop them, because the kingdom of heaven belongs to people who are like these children. Jesus put his hands on the children (and blessed them) . . . ” (Matt. 19:13-15a).
Then, when a very sinful woman ministered to him, he accepted her. The Scripture says, “A sinful woman in the town learned that Jesus was eating at the Pharisee’s house. So she brought an alabaster jar of perfume and stood behind Jesus at his feet, crying. She began to wash his feet with her tears, and she dried them with her hair, kissing them many times and rubbing them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who asked Jesus to come to his house saw this, he thought to himself, ‘If Jesus were a prophet, he would know that the woman touching him is a sinner!’ Then Jesus turned toward the woman and said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? When I came into your house, you gave me no water for my feet, but she washed my feet with her tears and dried them with her hair. You gave me no kiss of greeting, but she has been kissing my feet since I came in. You did not put oil on my head, but she poured perfume on my feet. I tell you that her many sins are forgiven . . .” (Luke 7:37-39, 44-47a, edb).
At other times sinners and undesirables came to Jesus. Matthew said, “As Jesus reclined at table in the house, behold, many tax collectors and [especially wicked] sinners came and sat with Him and His disciples. And when the Pharisees saw this, they said to His disciples, Why does your Master eat with tax collectors and those [preeminently] sinful? But when Jesus heard it, He replied, Those who are strong and well have no need of a physician, but those who are weak and sick” (Matt. 9:10-12).
In first century Judaism the class system was rigorously enforced. It was legally forbidden to associate with those who were outside the law. Table fellowship with beggars, prostitutes and tax collectors was a religious and social taboo. These tax collectors were considered traitors because they took money for Rome from their own people and got a kick-back from the take. Furthermore, sharing a meal was a special dramatic sign of equality and acceptance. That’s why Zacchaeus was so moved when Jesus called him down from the sycamore tree, and that’s why Jesus’ practice of eating with such people caused so many hostile comments throughout his ministry.
Over and over we see Jesus accepting traitors, lepers, foreigners and other outcasts.
This is important because people who feel accepted respect themselves and thus are able to extend that same respect to others. They have positive outlooks and helpful spirits.
Acceptance helps us experience an abundant life!
III. HOW TO REALIZE ACCEPTANCE:
Now, if all of us have such a desperate need for acceptance, then how can we realize it in our daily lives?
Well, we are fortunate as Christians because the Scriptures give us many promises concerning acceptance. The Psalmist said, “I acknowledged my sin to You, and my iniquity I did not hide. I said, I will confess my transgressions to the Lord, then You [instantly] forgave me the guilt and iniquity of my sin” (Psa. 32:5, amp).
Jesus said, “I give them eternal life, and they shall never lose it or perish throughout the ages. And no one is able to snatch them out of My hand. ” (John 10:28, amp).
Paul said, “Christ died for us while we were still sinners” (Rom. 5:8, edb).
John said, “This is what real love is: It is not our love for God; it is God’s love for us. He sent his Son to die in our place to take away our sins” (I John 4:10, edb).
In his wonderful parable, Jesus told how the prodigal son came to his father and was immediately accepted and restored without any condemnation or rehabilitation. Instead, there was a celebration, (see John 15:22-24).
When we come to God through Christ, we are born into God’s family. At that moment we are accepted totally, and we are accepted permanently. Like the prodigal son, there is no condemnation or rehabilitation. Instead, there is a celebration. Jesus said, “I tell you there is more joy in heaven over one sinner who changes his heart and life, than over ninety-nine good people who don’t need to change” (Luke 15:7).
This conversion changes our lives. When we are able to feel God’s acceptance, our relief and gratitude for this great gift makes us want to please our Heavenly Father. It makes us try harder to be obedient and faithful. It makes us eager to witness and serve in His kingdom.
Let’s consider a spiritual analogy: You’ve just been born and are taking your first breath. The doctor and nurse are smiling, but your parents are strangely preoccupied. They confer quietly with each other, ignoring your cries. Finally the father turns to the physician and says, “Doctor, would you mind holding that baby up once more so we can better decide?”
“Decide what?” the doctor asks.
“We just want to be sure he’s right for us,” your father replies.
“We saw another child in the nursery that seems to have a little more promise. This baby’s eyes are the wrong color, and it’s nose is too big. You see, we really have our hearts set on that cute little blond baby. My wife and I have discussed this and we’d like to work out an exchange.”
Now, this scenario is totally absurd. When you were born, your parents accepted you into their hearts and into their family without hesitations or qualifications. This acceptance was not based on your looks. It was not based on your performance. It was not even based on your behavior. They accepted you simply because you were their child.
That’s how God accepts us! As a Christian you are accepted just as you are, with all your faults and shortcomings; with all your failures and problems. You are accepted and you will never be rejected.
A doctor said, “80% of my patients could be cured of the physical ills that plague them if only they had one non-judgmental, understanding person who would listen to them with respect, care for them as a person, and accept them just as they are.”
God does that for us. So, how can we realize this wonderful gift from God? How can we feel accepted and then pass on that gift to others?
Well, in order to do this we must believe that Jesus offers us not only life, but abundant life! And abundant life includes acceptance.
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(WC1974)
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