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MUSTS, SHOULDS AND WANTS

Matthew. 22:37-40

Our lives are made up of musts, shoulds, and wants.

There are a few absolute musts. We have no choice about these. We have to breath, drink, eat and sleep or we die. Also, most of us have to work for a living.

When we do things to fulfill physical requirements, to escape punishment or to receive necessary wages, then we are acting because we must.

There are also a lot of shoulds. We’re taught that we ought to be responsible. We ought to help others; and we ought to serve the Lord. When we do things in response to peer pressure, fear of criticism or guilt, then we are acting because we think we should.

Unfortunately when we’re told we must or we should do something, it’s human nature to lose interest or rebel. Being forced to do our shoulds while desiring to satisfy our wants will not succeed for long. It’s only when our shoulds and our wants become synonymous that we are mature and permanently successful. Peter said, “Take care of God’s . . . people, that you are responsible for. Watch over (them) because you want to, not because you’re forced to do it. That is how God wants it. Do it because you are happy to serve . . .” (I Peter 5:2, edb).

Besides the things we must do and the things we should do there are also numerous things we want to do. These are different for each individual. Some people want beneficial and productive things, while other people want harmful and unproductive things.

One of the most important aspects of a conversion experience is that it changes our wants. Paul said, “In the past, the law held us like prisoners. But our old selves died, and we were made free from the law. So now we serve God in a new way, not in the old way with written rules. Now we serve God in the new way, with the Spirit. ” (Rom. 7:6, edb).

“You have left your old sinful life and the things you did before. You have begun to live the new life. In your new life you are being made new. You are becoming like the One who made you. This new life brings you the knowledge of God” (Col. 3:9b-10, edb).

When we become Christians, we have a new nature that causes us to want what God wants. And the Scriptures say that what God wants is for us to become like Christ. “For God . . . chose them to become like his Son, so that his Son would be the firstborn, with many brothers and sisters” (Rom. 8:29, nlb).

That’s what grace is all about. The law included rules we must obey and regulations we should follow. But Jesus loved us and inspired us to want to do the right things. John said, “The law was given through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ” (John 1:17, edb).

Paul said, “You are not under law, but under grace” (Rom. 6:14b).

If we can change our musts and shoulds into wants, then we can begin to enjoy doing them. After all, everything some individuals do because they must or should, others do because they want to. For instance, many people earn a living by deep sea fishing. Day after day they take out boats and haul in catches. It’s hard work and they may resent it. Other people, however, find it the greatest pleasure to go fishing on their holiday.

In fact, men and women invest hours and energy and strenuous labor at things like golfing, hunting and gardening and yet call it recreation.

So, how can we really want to do the things we should do?

I. FIRST, WE CAN DEVELOP A RELATIONSHIP WITH THE LORD JESUS CHRIST.

You see, if we love someone, our greatest joy is to please them. Jesus said, “If anyone loves me, then he will obey my teaching . . .” (John 14:23a, edb).

If we do things out of love, then we are acting because we want to. That’s why a Christian life is not a dreary duty. Years ago, a young girl grew up in an orphanage. Life was bleak. There were a lot of rules and requirements. She had to work almost as a slave. Her overseer was harsh and strict. If she failed to measure up or neglected any task, she was severely punished. As a result, she developed a rebellious, hostile attitude.
Fortunately, one day a kind man adopted her. He treated her as a daughter. He encouraged her to have a happy and successful future.

One day, she came to the astonishing realization that she was doing everything now that she had done in the orphanage. In fact, she was actually working harder, both at home and at school than she had ever worked, but she was doing it willingly and gladly because she loved her father and was grateful for his care and support. The difference was that before, she had served because she had to. Now, she served because she wanted to.

Love is the basic theme of the gospel because it makes laws and commandments unnecessary. Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind.’ This is the first and most important command. And the second command is like the first: ‘Love your neighbor as much as you love yourself.’ All the other commandments and all the demands of the prophets stem from these two laws and are fulfilled if you obey them. Keep only these and you will find that you are obeying all the others” (Matt. 22:37-40, lb).
Paul said, “The person who loves others has obeyed the law” (Rom. 13:8b, edb)

If we love the Lord, we will automatically want to do His will.

II. NEXT, WE CAN DEVELOP NEW DESIRES AND LEARN NEW HABITS.

Of course all of our true needs must be filled. That’s important because acting out destructive wants are often simply misguided attempts to fill legitimate needs. These are examples of normal human needs: Comfort, which includes food and relaxation; Security, which includes safety and frugality; Love, which includes care and affection; Order, which includes discipline and consistency; Knowledge, which includes information and education; Achievement, which includes work and completion of projects; Social connections, which include friendships and interaction; Recognition, which includes appreciation and approval; Excitement, which includes pleasure and adventure; Wealth, which includes possessions and status; Beauty, which includes art and nature; and Spirituality, which includes relationships and morality.

So, ask yourself: What interests me? What are my deepest yearnings? What am I enthusiastic about? What gives me a feeling of fulfillment? What is my passion?

Furthermore, we can develop ways of satisfying our needs in productive rather than unproductive ways. God has promised to do that. Paul said, “My God will use his wonderful riches in Christ Jesus to give you everything you need” (Phil. 4:19).

For example, Comfort can be enjoyed in a happy home, or gained at the expense of others; Security can be normal caution and frugality, or an extreme survivalist mentality; Love can be felt from family and friends, or sought through promiscuity; Order can involve organization and planning, or obsession and compulsion; Knowledge can make us wise, or turn us into intellectual snobs; Achievement can involve important life-saving discoveries, or it can degenerate into workaholism; Social connections can be found in children and neighbors, or in gangs and cults; Recognition can come from community work and generous endowments, or from criminal activity; Excitement can be experienced when we learn how to get satisfaction from firefighting or military service, or through violence and crimes; Wealth can be used as a tremendous benefit for humanitarian causes, or greedy obsession that destroys everything; Beauty can enrich us through museums and natural scenic spots, or it can lead to preoccupation with fashion and plastic surgery; Spirituality can be a wonderful relationship with God, or a fanatical “holier than thou” lifestyle;

So, ask yourself: Can this interest of mine be used as a career or an avocation? Can this yearning of mine be satisfied by creating something that’s useful? Can my enthusiasm be channeled into a valuable, positive activities in my church or community? Can I find fulfillment by doing charitable deeds? Can this passion mine be utilized to make this world a better place?

As Christians, we can begin to get our joy and satisfaction from achievements rather than idleness; from helping rather than hurting; from giving rather than getting; from creating rather than destroying; and from salvaging rather than wasting.

It’s only when our shoulds become our wants that greatness is achieved and progress is made. That’s why we have benevolent doctors, missionaries, teachers, humanitarians and philanthropists. These seemingly unselfish ones are not just natural born saints. Instead, they have learned how to get pleasure from doing constructive deeds and giving generous gifts. Nothing is a sacrifice if you want to do it.

III. FINALLY, WE CAN FOLLOW JESUS’ EXAMPLE.

Jesus had several musts in his life, but he turned them into wants:
He felt that he must serve God. He said, “You should have known that I must be about my Father’s business” (Luke 2:49);

He felt he must tell the Good news: “I must preach the Good News of the Kingdom of God because that is why I was sent” (Luke 4:43);

He felt he must do good works: “All of us must quickly carry out the tasks assigned us . . .” (John 9:14);
He felt he must unite all Christians: “I have other sheep, too, that are not in this sheepfold. I must bring them also . . .” (John 10:16).

So, serving God, sharing the gospel and uniting believers became the purpose of Jesus’ life. That’s what he felt he must do. That’s what he felt he should do. But most importantly, that’s what he wanted to do.

He got great satisfaction and pleasure from spiritual service. Once he explained, “My nourishment comes from doing the will of God, who sent me, and from finishing his work” (John 4:34).

His was a life of great joy. He said, “I have told you this so that you will be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow?” (John 15:11).

We too, can have a life of joy if we learn how to want to do those thing that we must do and should do! Like Jesus our service needs to nourish our Spirits. Our achievements and contributions need to “feed our souls. Life is too short to work out of duty. Paul said, “In all the work you are doing, work the best you can. Work as if your were working for the Lord, not for men” (Col. 3:23, edb).

The Psalmist said, “Serve the Lord with joy . . .” (Psa. 100:2, edb).

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Copyrighted 2009 by Miles and Maralene Wesner, Idabel, OK. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THIS MESSAGE IN ANY WAY YOU THINK IS APPROPRIATE. The only thing we ask is that you give credit for original material in PUBLISHED works.

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Miles E Wesner