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"AGREE OR DISAGREE"

When we hear a person give an opinion, share an idea or state a belief; why do most of us feel obligated to either agree or disagree?   Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could realize that these are not the only two possible reactions!  In fact, these are often very inappropriate and non-productive reactions. 

Suppose a group is standing around watching Old Faithful erupt and one person says, "Oh, the sun's reflection on the water makes a beautiful red and blue rainbow."  Would a person over on the other side immediately reply, "That's not true! That's crazy!" or "That's wrong!"  Of course not!  Instead, the person might say, "How interesting.  From here it looks yellow and green!" or, "You, know, from this angle it's almost a silhouette!"  or even, "I can see an entirely different reflection." 
In short, the listeners in this case would feel no urge to either verify or repudiate the speaker's comment.  They would realize that views from different angles do look different.  They would realize that they can't see the whole thing from their perspective.  So, they would simply hear it and add their own insights.

Why can't we be that sensible in other areas of discussion?  Why do we feel threatened, become defensive, and prepare rebuttals? 

If a person gives an opinion, shares an idea, or states a belief; we don't have to agree or disagree.  We don't have to verify it or repudiate it.  Indeed, we can't verify it or repudiate it!  We can't "see it" for him, and he can't "see it" for us. 
Instead, we can simply hear it and add our own insights.  If we do that, then both of us will know more about the subject.  We'll know how it looks to us and we'll know how it looks to him.

Most issues have so many aspects that none of us can see them all.  When people look at things from different perspectives it's quite natural for them to give different descriptions.  We must realize that two different views are not necessarily mutually exclusive!  They may both be valid!  Life and truth are not contests set upon the principle that if you win, I lose; or if you're right, I'm wrong! 

On the contrary, the more we can learn about the "other sides" of life and truth that are hidden from us, or out of our line of sight, the more accurate our perception will be.

The only way we can ever fully understand anything is to perceive it from every possible viewpoint.  Therefore, the next time you hear a person give an opinion, share an idea, or state a belief; don't agree or disagree!  Just hear it, evaluate it, keep any useful information, and let the other go! 
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This issue of NEW PERSPECTIVES  is from an unpublished manuscript © copyrighted 2004 by Miles and Maralene Wesner, Idabel, OK.  PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THEM IN ANY WAY YOU THINK IS APPROPRIATE.  The only thing we ask is that you give credit for original material in PUBLISHED works. 

NEW PERSPECTIVES is a free service from Diversity Press.  

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I would like to invite you to take advantage of our effort to clear our storage area.  I will be happy to send you all the books we have available at this time.  All you need to do is reimburse me for the postage which comes to a little over $6 for about 40 books  (which is the cost, the last time I mailed them).  Please wait until you receive  your books before remitting.

Miles E Wesner