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GETTING, FRETTING AND REGRETTING

John 10:1-5, 7-10 April 30, 2006

A tombstone reads, "Died at 30; buried at 60." Will Rogers often said, "Let me live until I die." That sounds obvious; but instead of living, most of us spend all our lives getting, fretting and regretting.

There's a legend from India that illustrates this problem: A maiden was told that she could pass through a fabulous storehouse and pick out any treasure she wanted. This prize would be hers to keep and enjoy forever. Unfortunately, there was a catch. Once she'd chosen, she couldn't change her mind. If a better or more desirable gift lay ahead, she'd have to forego it because she couldn't turn back or make trades.

According to the legend, the maiden started down the corridor. Great wonders lay all around her. Silver and gold and diamonds were hers for the taking. Everything was marvelous, but each time she reached for an object, she would think, "Wait, a minute. What if there's something even better in the next section?" In this way, she passed by collection after collection.

Finally, she was startled to look up and see the exit sign just ahead. Her journey was almost finished and she had accomplished nothing. Since she was powerless to stop or retreat, the maiden frantically grabbed for some small trinket and the trip was over. "Oh my," the maiden thought. "I should have used my opportunities more carefully. I should have taken a more valuable gift when I had the chance. Now, it's too late; and all I have is this worthless gadget."

In fact, this is a true story. It's a universal story. It's our story. We do pass through a world full of fabulous treasures. We do make choices. Furthermore, we can't go back and undo or exchange these choices. Life is a one way street. If we don't use our opportunities, and select the most valuable gifts when we have the chance, it will soon be too late.

Why are we like the Indian maiden? Why do we so often miss life altogether?

I. FIRST, WE SPEND OUR LIVES GETTING.

One of our favorite phrases is "when I get." We say: "I'll be happy when I get grown"; "I'll be happy when I get out of High School"; "I'll be happy when I get into college"; "I'll be happy when I get out of college"; "I'll be happy when I get a car"; "I'll be happy when I get a credit card"; "I'll be happy when I get out of debt"; "I'll be happy when I get a job"; "I'll be happy when I get a promotion"; "I'll be happy when I get old enough to retire"; "I'll be happy when I get married"; "I'll be happy when I get divorced"; "I'll be happy when I get children"; "I'll be happy when I get my children grown."

You see, it's a never ending cycle. "When I get" is a trap. It never leads to happiness. "When I get" never solves anything. "When I get" never satisfies.

Too many of us are like a cranky old lady who took her grandson to the beach. While she was reading a magazine a large wave came along and swept the child out into the surf. Since he couldn't swim, he cried out for help. She rushed to the edge of the water just in time to see his head go under. In panic she fell to her knees and began to pray, "Dear Lord, I have never needed you for anything. I have never asked much of you, but now I'm desperate. You know that this is my only grandchild and he is about to drown, so please save him for me." No sooner had she finished her prayer when another large wave came rolling up onto the beach and deposited the boy right back where he was before. The grandmother ran over and swooped him up into her arms and began to check him out. He looked fine and seemed to be alright. Then the grandmother gazed upward toward heaven and said, "Thank you Lord, for answering my prayer and sparing my grandson; but by the way, you know, he did have a little hat on his head!" You see, we're never satisfied.

Financial experts say every investor always wants just a little bit more than he has right now. No matter what you get, it's never enough. Besides, after a certain point, wealth becomes pointless. You can only eat so much, and wear so much, and spend so much. Besides, riches can't buy a child's love, a beautiful sunset, a sincere hug, or a healthy body. In short, getting has serious limitations when it comes to providing a good life.

Instead, of getting we should be enjoy each present experience as it comes. We should love our family while we have them. We should tell our friends how much they mean to us. We should appreciate this beautiful world; we should feel contentment at each stage with what we have.

Paul said, "I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am" (Phil. 4:11).

II. NEXT, WE SPEND OUR LIVES FRETTING.

Two of our favorite phrases are "If only" and "I never." We say, "If only I were prettier"; "If only I were smarter"; "If only I were taller"; "If only I were shorter"; "If only I were thinner"; "If only I were younger." We say, "If only she would do that"; "If only she wouldn't do that"; "If only life were"; "If only life weren't." We say, "I never get a break"; "I never have any fun"; "I never reach my goals"; "I never feel good."

"If only" and "I never" are totally useless phrases. They accomplish nothing. They waste our time and increase our miseries. As someone said, "If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride!"

Life is a composite. It's never all good or all bad. Everything is a mixed blessing. Someone said, "A mixed blessing is when you cross a poison ivy vine with a four leaf clover."

In fact, most of us are like critics. We can find a little bad in the best of things. We're like the economist who was commissioned to write two reports on life in the future. His employer said, "Now, I want you to write an optimistic forecast and a pessimistic forecast." After months of work, he came back to summarize his findings. "In my optimistic forecast," he said, "I predict that in the future, we'll all be forced to subsist on crabgrass. "

"Oh, my," said his boss. "If that's your optimiseic forecast, what's your pessimistic forecast?" "Well, in my pessimistic forecast," he said, "I predict that there won't be enough crabgrass to go around."

Fretting is sort of like rocking in a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere. Instead of fretting, we should be seeing the good and ignoring the bad. We should be magnifying the positive and minimizing the negative. We should be making the most of each day. We should be accomplishing something, finishing something, or improving something.

Paul said, " Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit" (Rom. 15:13).

III. FINALLY, WE SPEND OUR LIVES REGRETTING.

Another favorite phrase is "Oh, Why on earth?"

We say, "Oh, why on earth did I?" "Oh, why on earth didn't I?" "Oh, why on earth did they?" "Oh, why on earth didn't they?" "Oh, why on earth did that happen?" "Oh, why on earth didn't that happen."

Asking, "Why on earth" can be a pattern of self-pity or a plea for sympathy. In either case, it's counter-productive. You can get so concerned with where you've been that you lose sight of where you're going. There's a myth about a "goony bird" that always flew looking back over his shoulder. As a result he was constantly crashing into tree tops and mountain sides. That's probably why the "goony bird" is extinct. Regretting is destructive.

Too often we spend all our time worrying about something that happened in the past or something that might have been. You can no more change that, than you can unring a bell after it's been rung. Regretting is useless.

Instead of regretting, we should be forgetting the guilts of the past and anticipating the achievements of the future. Paul said, "One thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus" (Phil. 3:13-14).

Yes, we spend our lives getting, fretting and regretting. Once there was man who lived for things. He spent his time making a fast buck and he spent his money on immediate pleasures. He griped about disloyal friends and unfair circumstances. He bemoaned his fate and blamed his associates. In short, he existed. At his death he left what resources he had to a publishing company with the instructions that his biography be written.

When the book was finished, it was beautiful and expensive. The binding was elaborate. The title page had a picture of the deceased. The first page recorded the date of his birth. The last page recorded the date of his death. Unfortunately, the rest of the book consisted of blank pages of white paper. This man was born and he died and in between there was nothing of value. How tragic! What would be on the pages of our biography?

We have one life and it's far too short to spend getting, fretting, and regretting.

Life?

Once when it was springtime,I longed for the summer,with picnics and swims in the pool.

But when it was summer, I longed for the autumn, with sweaters and football and school.

But when it was autumn, I longed for the winter, with fireplaces, Christmas and snow.

But when it was winter, I longed for the springtime with robins and gardens that grow.

Then, all of a sudden the whole year was over.

Each month and each week and each day.

So quickly it seemed that before you could know it, I'd wished all the seasons away.

Once, when I was seven, I longed to be older, With parties and sports cars and dates;

But when I was twenty,I longed for promotions, With money and houses and mates;

But when I was forty,  I longed for retirement, With leisure and travel and sun;

But when I was sixty, I longed to be seven, With lollipops, seesaws and fun.

Then all of a sudden, My whole life was over,

Each stage with it's blessings to give, Had passed like a flash and not once for one moment, In all of that time did I live!

-Adapted by Maralene Wesner

How tragic. How sinful!

An old Hebrew proverb says that we'll be held accountable for all the beauties of this life that we didn't enjoy, all the blessings of this life we didn't appreciate and all the opportunities of this life we didn't take advantage of.

The Scriptures say, ""My soul shall rejoice in the Lord . . ." (Psa. 35:9).

"Whoso trusteth in the Lord, happy is he" (Prov. 16:20, kjv).

"These things I have spoken to you, that My joy may be in you, and that your joy may be made full" (John 15:11).

Don't waste one moment of the life God has given you. Make it count!

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it" (Psa. 118:24)

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This issue of NEW PERSPECTIVES is from an unpublished manuscript © copyrighted 2006 by Miles and Maralene Wesner, Idabel, OK. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO USE THEM IN ANY WAY YOU THINK IS APPROPRIATE. The only thing we ask is that you give credit for original material in PUBLISHED works.

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